There have been little peeks of happiness here and there during this trying time. But sometimes it feels like it's more negative moments then happy. I am trying to be more positive, but it is pretty hard to be stuck in the house constantly. I don't even go to the store anymore. And there seems to be this uncertainty of when things will be able to get back to normal. Let's not even get started on the people that are protesting because they feel like their rights are being infringed upon. I get it. Being stuck in the house sucks, it's boring and overwhelming and fucks up people mentally. But right now a lot of people are dying from this virus.
There are brief glimpses of hope. They are working on studies to see if they can successfully save people, but they are still in the very beginning stages. There was one that has been tried on 7 people in Israel. They were all critical cases, this was actually considered a "last hope" treatment for them. All 7 of them survived. Some of them were even at the point of organ failure and that was able to be reversed. That is a huge leap forward. Let's hope that it works on this person that it is being tried on in the US in NJ.
I haven't really been updated this blog because there isn't must to report. I fluctuate between depression and being okay, but never really beyond that. There is just this helplessness that feels like it lingers at the back of my mind. I hate uncertainty. I hate not being able to make a plan. I try and keep busy, but the cold weather was making it so that I couldn't get out to walk. Yes I know there are other ways to work out, but the fresh air was motivating. It got me out of the house. It is starting to get nice again, so I am going to get back into the routine of going back outside.
I can't wait for the gyms to open back up so that I can actually go lift something heavy. That's a big craving of mine right now. I'll try and figure out a way to scratch that itch. I also want to get into martial arts. That has been a long term wish of mine and that is still on the back burner. We will see what I can mange once things get back to some semblance of normal. I would like to do Brazilian Ju Jitsu. But we will see what will work with the schedule once it happens.
I have a few other things that are in the wings, including trying to get my butt into school this fall. 1.5 years and I will have a Bachelors degree. That is not that long. It is obtainable. Then after that I will get my Masters. I am also working on advancing stuff for my career. I hope something will happen that will make me feel like I am advancing in the right direction. We will see how things pan out in the next few weeks.
Anyways, I am going to finish corralling everyone off to bed and then try and clean up the house a bit so that I feel less surrounded by chaos in the morning.
~A
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