-.-;

I am a tired, tired, tired woman. I can not express to you the amount of bone wariness that I carry in me right now. And yet here I am at 130 in the morning, writing on a blog that I have once again neglected for over a month. Goes to show how good of a blogger I am. Peh.

So I started back up at school again. But this time I am working on top of it. Why? Because I am a 'tardo and I want to burn out and kill myself. The first week was hell, this second one at the end is going to suck. I work Thur-Sun. There are no days off for me. It's either homework and class, or homework and work.

This is the cycle that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends.

God I bitch alot. Oh well. No one reads this shite anyways. And MF's I will cuss if I want. I have to get up in the morning and finish my homework for Psych. Ugh, I can not wait for this semester to be over. OVER I say. Especially this damn math class. One more semester of that, and I should be done. No, I lied I still have to take Stats. UGH.

On a positive note, I think I have found the best course of action, and that is to go to UNMC. I can still go to Metro and do ALL of my Gen. Eds before I waltz into the big university and take the nursing classes that I need. It just seems like it will fit my schedule/timeline better.

I have also lost damn near 30lbs. Now mind you I have been a disgusting slob when it comes to eating habits, but since I work so much and walk so often at work I have been losing weight. 30 lbs! Big Mama say WHA? Now only like 60lbs to go. Time to make some new rules.

NO MORE: Pop, Sugar, Fast Food, Fried Food.

However; Sunday is amnesty day. You may eat and or drink whatever you want. Also, working out of some kind needs to begin again. FIND TIME IN YOUR SCHEDULE HO!

60 lbs is a long ways to go, but I am sure that I can do it. Push ups, sit ups, and maybe walking a good distance a day will help me start losing again. I don't want to be a fat ass forever. And I can't risk falling back into unhealthy bs again. Maybe I should start working on myfitnesspal again. Yeah, I think so. Starting tomorrow.

Alright all, time to go to bed. Have to do Psych in the morning. -.- It is all worth it in the end. It is all worth it in the end. It is all worth it in the end. That is my new mantra.

PS I am fat and fabulous, get over it.

INSOMNIA EL SUCKO

It took less than one week for me to get hooked on nights? I hate this crap. I get tired and if I even think about laying down, I have to lay there for hours on end. And even than I pop up out of bed in the afternoon. Ugh. This is no bueno. Nights are really, really going to funk up my schedule. I miss being a day person dang it. I really, really do.

In other news, I got a new job. Thank the lord in heaven..because that other place was a nightmare. No breaks, the machines broke down at critical moments (IE with a resident suspended in mid-air above their wheel chair), the staff was clearly out to get one another, people yelled at one another and generally did not respect each other. And last but not least there were over 30 total dependent cares residents for 2 people. That is insane to me.

Hoping that this new place is better. I have heard already that it is. I am also going to be getting my med aide here soon. I need to get back into school! Speaking of school, I made the dean's list again. Woot. Take that, all A's 3.8something GPA. I am hoping, praying that my GPA is good enough to get me into SOME sort of nursing program. Still a long ways off, but definately something that has to be considered at all times.

Other than that, this weekend I am doing 2 photo shoots. A gothic sort of themed one and than an engagment photoshoot on Sunday. I am nervous and excited all at once. I hope it goes alright, I really do.

After a week or so of working at the crazy place, I am pretty sure I may have lost a bit of weight. Not sure how I feel about it. I do want to start P90X or something like it. Hubby canceled my gym membership. That needs to be fixed soon. I miss going to the classes!! Other than that..nothing big has been going on besides the fact that my son is pretty much chatting. Why does he have to grow so dang fast? I miss him being little bitty baby Jaxon.

Alright, I am going to TRY and sleep. Good night all!

Time to get back into the game....

Alright...so as you can see, I disappeared for a long while. Guess what...? I am back now. Not skinny, but still working on it. I am healthy though. No binging, no purging...no ugliness in the least. There have been moments of weakness, but all I have to do is look at that little chubby faced cherub that I birthed, and life gets better.

I am in my second semester at Metro. Looks like I may be switching over to Clarkson though, if I can help it. I am applying for a scholarship there. Hopefully I get it. Hopefully I will be able to change some things and get on the right path. There are other options though, incase this falls through.

Let's see...what else? Photography...its bumping along. There is alot I want to do with it, but it's a slow moving process considering the price of the equipment. But my faith was restored in my vision and eye. Yay. Thank you J for that. She's an amazing photog, that helped me see again.

Nothing overly earthshattering. I just missed posting and taking down all of my thoughts. It's time to get back into it. I'm taking the reigns again. Getting back in the drivers seat. You scared yet? I'm not.