Chaos Mixed in with the Mundane

    A lot has changed since the last time I posted. The world has exploded into chaos. Rightly so. The death of another black man has caused protests, riots, and uproar to engulf not only the US but other countries as well. It is overwhelming, especially being a mixed woman. Especially being best friends with a cop and his wife. But it is out of hand, and it's time to be handled. Racism is happening more brazenly lately. (Or perhaps it's just that now it's being recorded and put online for everyone to witness). It feels like everything is coming to a head. There is so much tension. It's going to build and build until it's released or something will explode. I hope that it's something that is fixed. Because it's scary and a very unstable environment. It is stifling and hard to live in. I find myself needing to walk away from social media more often. 

    I don't know. I don't know why I am writing this. I felt like I needed to get stuff off my chest or something but I just can't find the words. I want to be eloquent and a force to be reckoned with, a warrior for the cause. But it's scary. There are people being hung and it's being ruled as suicide, but it's suspect. I don't know what to think or say most days. 

    Things haven't really changed about being home. We are still here. Work isn't slating to have people return until 7/20. But they are bringing people back in waves, and it all really depends on what is going on after the holiday weekend of the Fourth. If there is a spike they may push it back even more. I have been getting out of the house to go to the gym now that it's back open. That was a feat for me. The anxiety alone was so much so that I drove to the gym one day and then didn't get out. I was to nervous about what may happen. My brain was racing with the thought of there being too many people. It has't been bad being back to be honest. Still more people than I am entirely comfortable with. But I needed the gym. It has helped with my anxiety. I have gone 3 times this week. I am going to try and go tomorrow if I can. If not, then Sunday for sure. 

    As I said, there isn't much to update on. Everyone here is healthy and doing okay mentally. Not good, not great. Just okay. I am going to wrap this up though because I should be getting in bed soon. Or trying to work on my book a bit, if I can find the motivation.