Progress and Issues...

So this week was week 6 of working out. I have had issues getting up every day and going. My attendance wavered a few times. But I keep going back. It's been the best decision of my life. I have to peel myself out of bed every morning, but once I am done, there is this great sense of accomplishment, and I feel amazing most of the day.

I have been doing better on my nutrition. It has been hard, but I have done a complete 180 from where I used to be. I used to eat fast food every single day. A double whopper, fried chicken, french fries. But now I am making better decisions. There are still days that I have cravings, and sometimes I give into them. Because I am human. But I have not had issues with lots of binges, like I thought I would. I have been making sensible decisions! And I am proud of that.

I have seen results. And I think I will keep seeing results. I do need to get back into the habit of food prep, and I will. I plan on doing better the last 4 weeks. Because I want to see the best results possible in these next weeks. And I think in the long run, I am going to do 1 year at Farrell's. Why mess with something that works?

A lot of people have told me that I look different. I can tell when I look in the mirror, I can feel it in my clothes. But when I look in the mirror, I know that I have a long way to go before I am completely happy. But things are better now. I can already feel the confidence coming back, and I know it's only going to get better with time.

I will say that I have experienced some annoyance in this process. And it really is a tiny complaint. I hate being told what to do. I always have. So when people tell me "You shouldn't", "Don't do.." "Try not to.." "You're gonna gain weight if you..." "Don't eat..."

I am a human. I am going to eat cookies. I am going to eat fries, sometimes. I am going to drink wine. I am going to sip a sprite. Because I do not plan to eat like a fucking vegan for my whole life. I want to eat food that I enjoy (even if it's bad for me, I'll just do it in moderation.) Right now I am trying to find the balance. How much I can eat before I don't see results. And maybe, just maybe, I can kill the cravings. I can get past wanting pasta, cookies, wine (yeah right), or french fries. I don't know though...I don't want to live without it. I want to do it in moderation, and make wiser choices.